What's it Gonna Be?

Mucho thanks to my engorged, I mean engaged friend Paul.



Your ass looks delicious.

Let's Just Say I do Alright

Chris and I met some nice women this weekend. Thought I would brag it out a little bit. Picture time!

The Generic Cereal in a Bag of Blues Music

I'm tired of people who are down on celebrities. I live in New York and find myself constantly surrounded by all kinds of fame and glitz (gotta love the glitz). I can say for certain that most celebrities put their pants on by snapping up the sides, just like we do. For instance, it's not like Steven Seagal would go around pretending to be an authentic delta blues musician and take on the moniker "Mojo Priest."

What's that? He does? No. Really?

I guess I've got a nice big shitburger of put-me-in-my-place stew to choke down. I'll give $20 to anyone who actually watches this whole "documentary."



*I reserve the right to pay the $20 in U.S. dollars or paperclip artwork.

Get Up and Wash Your Face

The universe is more than random chance. Need proof? I give you...

Reno911:Miami, February 23rd.



Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theatres, March 23rd.



and...

Hot Fuzz, April 13th.

PAY ATTENTION TO THIS!

The scene begins in a parking lot. A young you is stuck clutching a half drank Milwaukee's Best Ice, mascara running down your face. Watching, as all of your friends go into the Bon Jovi concert as you wonder how you missed out on getting tickets again.

Those traumatizing times are over. A new program, iConcertCal is able to work with your iTunes to alert you to upcoming shows. It scans your library, scans local venues and creates a calender showing when your favorite bands will be playing shows. It even provides links to the venues' ticket sites.

Pretty frickin' awesome.

Try it out here: www.iconcertcal.com/installation.php